Atheism

This post may be a bit contentious, but I don't mean it to be. I just want to give a perspective that many may not understand and may not have even considered. The thoughts I write here are my personal beliefs and I don't want the comments to be demeaning or trying to persuade me or anyone else to change our beliefs. While I share some of my reasoning against faith in my own life, my intention is not to dissuade anyone of their personal beliefs either. Thank you in advance.

I am an atheist. I am not spiritual or religious in any way. I do not believe in a higher power. To be atheist (at least by my own definition) is not to be against faith itself, merely the lack of it in one's own personal life. I do not know for a fact there is no god or afterlife, yet I have no reason to believe they exist either. My reasoning and experience that lead me to that belief system aside, this is about dealing with grief and loss in the absence of faith.

I often hear atheism described as the "easy way". No worship, no time devoted to a higher cause, less strict morals, etc. I have always thought this was incorrect, but now I can tell you with absolute certainty, the lack of faith in any world beyond this life on Earth is the most difficult belief system one can have.

Artemis is gone. There is no "better place", no eternal life after this one where I may see him again. If one believes in an afterlife, there is reason to keep going. There is a sense of hope and joy that you will one day see your loved ones again, that they are in paradise waiting for you to join them. Without it, there is no joy to look forward to, no reuniting with our beautiful boy. I would love to believe we will see him again. Nothing would make me happier than Artemis running into my arms in the great beyond. But to believe in that wonderful world is not simply a choice I can make, denying what my mind tells me is most likely true.

The manner of Artemis' death was meaningless chaos which could have happened to anyone in the wrong place at the wrong time. There was no purpose to the pain this caused him and the torment we are all experiencing in his absence. Artemis' life is a tiny speck in the grand scheme of the universe, as are all of our lives.

To be clear, this is not to say his life was meaningless. He gave us joy like we have never experienced. His life was full of wonder and exploration that meant the world to us and to him. He enriched our lives, made us better people, and elevated the lives of all who knew him. And to me, that is enough. Or rather it is enough when we have the time we are meant to. Our time here on this Earth is a wonderful phenomenon that was cut short for Artemis.

Life to me, as an atheist, is so incredibly precious. It is more precious to me in a way that I don't think a faith-based worldview can match. We have one life to live. One moment in time to make our mark on those around us and experience the absolute splendor of our corner of the universe. There is nothing to aim for past this life and that is ok as long as we appreciate the time we are given.

There are certain things I imagine many people would find repulsive to say to a bereaved parent, religious or not. Fortunately, we have not had to deal with too many at this point. One person did tell me soon after Artemis died, "Jesus just wanted him early". I simply turned away rather than engage that statement. I doubt she even realized she had said anything problematic, but the anger I felt in that moment will stick with me forever. Nobody, including Jesus, has the right to take my boy. These lives are ours and Artemis' life had barely begun. Nobody has any right to cut that short, to rob him of the discoveries he was so eager to make. And if a god would make or let what happened to Artemis take place, I want no part of what they have to offer.

One of the worst things anyone can say to us is, "He is in a better place". Here, next to his parents, enjoying life and all it has to offer is the best place for Artemis. There is no better place for a two year old child to be.

While well intentioned, these platitudes only reach my ears as an attempt to justify this tragedy. There is no good in this, only pain. There is no reason, only chaos and the havoc it wreaks on our hearts. Many of the people around you probably share my beliefs, even if you are unaware. If you don't know, play it safe. Just let them know how much you love them and that you are sorry for the pain they are experiencing. Meet them where they are without trying to save them or have them see through your eyes. Be there. Be a firm shoulder. That is all you have to do.

If I am wrong and there is a life after this one, whichever cosmic entity controls it has an eternity to be with my child. The least they could do is let us have our brief time of bliss here on Earth. They can wait their turn.