6 Months Gone

Artemis has been gone for 6 months. Time is cruel in that it does not pause for you, no matter how much you may wish it to.

Another bereaved parent in a group meeting I attend lost their teenager. They were lamenting that they were approaching the day when they will have lived with the death of their child longer than they got to live with their child. The other parents in the room agreed that it was or will be a very difficult day for them as well. We had already thought about that day in our future and how much we dread it.

Everyone else I have met through those meetings has over a decade after their child's death before that day arrives. Not that it makes that day any easier, but we only have two years. 6 months means we are already a quarter of the way through Artemis' life. It makes what we had seem even more fleeting, like a wonderful dream you can barely hold on to.

The farther we move into the future, the farther Artemis is left in the past. He will of course always be with us in our hearts, minds, and the many photos we have to assist our memories, but the blunt truth is that our future holds no new moments of joy which that little boy brought us every day. However much we try to hold onto our memories, some will fade or at least blur, much faster than we would want or expect them to.

I have no silver lining or bolstering message for this one. It's just a terrible reality of our lives.

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This is one of my clearer memories, already exactly one year ago. It makes me love and miss him even more every time I think of that day.